Give and Take
by fandombloggingaddict
Summary: Daryl has been acting differently, and the group doesn't recognize the signs until it's almost too late. Oneshot. Warnings: noncon, abuse, self-harm


Shane was coming to love the sound of the other man's struggles. When he pinned the hunter down, dragged him out of bed, cornered him, or backed him up against a hard surface, when the hits started landing and then the fun part - there was that hitch of breath, that whine of panic, that whimper of fear. Not that the man had completely surrendered his asshole personality, but for the most part, Shane succeeded in keeping him in line. If he'd known this was what it would take to deal with the threat to the group that was Daryl Dixon, he wouldn't have spent so much time trying to go about it all formal like.

Now, Shane stepped inside the secluded man's tent. Daryl was sitting on the edge of his cot to tend to his crossbow. He continued his work, staring at the intruder with a sense of indignation before he averted his eyes to the ground. But Shane was on a mission and got right to the point. He crossed the span of the tent in two strides and shoved the bow away before throwing him to the dirt floor. Daryl rolled over onto his back and tried to get up, but Shane straddled him and started punching him. He had to stop soon so as to avoid leaving obvious marks, so he just held the other's wrists with one hand and placed a warning grip on his throat.

"You been taking more food again, Daryl?"

"Need it to hunt."

Shane grinned coldly. "Do you now? To get food for us, you need to steal from us?" The smile dropped instantly. "We've been over this before. You were doing good for a while there, but I guess you thought I wouldn't notice you started up again."

Daryl's breathing was starting to pick up the pace. He shook his head. "Jus' need enough to get by."

"And I told you how much is enough! You don't get as much as them because you're worth less than them. Your only place here is to provide for us, and you ain't even done that lately. Maybe it's high time I brought this issue to the group. I'm sure you'd do fine on your own out there."

Daryl shook his head more fervently. "No. I didn't mean ta-"

"Did you just say no to me?" Shane growled, leaning down closer to the pinned man.

Daryl shook his head again.

"Really?" Shane punched him again, then returned the warning hold on his neck. "You're not lying now, are you? I'll ask again. Did you just say no to me?"

A beat of silence, then Daryl nodded shakily.

~

"You sorry sack of shit, hardly even worth the time to keep in line." He kicked the man on the floor and Daryl slowly got up, straightening himself out. He sat himself on the floor leaning against his cot. With Shane glaring at him, he chewed nervously on the inside of his lip and kept his eyes cast down. "You learned your lesson, right?" Shane knelt and grabbed Daryl's chin. "'Cause I don't want to have to repeat myself here."

Daryl nodded minutely. "M'sorry."

Shane huffed and stood. "Well then, make sure I don't see you taking food anytime soon. And I don't wanna see you again until you're bringing back one hell of a catch for us."

When he was gone, the hunter let loose a shuddering breath. He was so tired.

~

Carol was looking at him funny and Daryl hated it. He was just trying to get ready for a hunt, and she was looking at him like she was solving a puzzle. He wanted to get out of camp as soon as possible. The sooner he was away from these people, the sooner they'd be safe. The sooner he'd be safe.

He didn't take any food or water for the hunt - he'd rather pass out and risk dying out there than face the punishment for taking what wasn't his. And what right did he have to take it, anyway? His one job was to bring in more food, so why should he take any? He didn't need it as much as the kids and their mommas, anyway, and the other men spent so much time and hard work protecting them, that Daryl was really the last person who should feel entitled to the supplies. Especially since he was lucky enough to be with the group anyway. They hadn't kicked him out yet, so he just had to be careful and maybe they wouldn't decide he was a waste of space.

Once he was about ready to go, Carol walked over. He narrowed his eyes at the woman and tried to step past her, but she got back in his way patiently.

"I made something for you, to eat out there." She held out a little neatly wrapped wax paper package. Daryl looked at it, then over to camp. No one else was around. He scanned the area again, then looked back at her.

"Don't need it."

"You didn't pack any other food, and you might be gone all day." She smiled gently. It bugged Daryl.

"Said I don't want it." He moved around her and headed into the woods. Carol watched him go, her smile fading. She knew the signs of someone afraid to accept help.

~

When he came back with only three squirrels, Daryl was on edge like he hadn't been in years. He gutted the animals and brought them to a pot near the fire for Lori or one of the others to cook, then headed back to his tent. He knew that he was going to pay for not bringing back nearly enough. He wasn't sure whether he was more distressed over not supplying enough food today or the punishment for it. But when Shane entered the tent a minute later, Daryl nearly jumped out of his skin. He turned to face him and ducked his head.

~

Tonight was bad. Shane's hand over his mouth muffled his screams and Daryl's eyes were squeezed shut tight. He pressed his forehead into the dirt for something solid to focus on, but it didn't help.

~

Rick's eyes widened, but he couldn't move. He'd just wanted to check up on the elusive man, but as he looked inside the tent, he couldn't accept what he saw. Daryl was sitting up against his cot, one knee pulled to his chest with his head resting there, his arms lying at his sides with one gash in each wrist. The pools of blood in the dirt were steadily growing.

Rick busted free of his paralysis when he saw Daryl stop breathing. The ex-sheriff jolted forward. He grabbed a wrist to try to stop the bleeding with his hands, desperate and a little numb, but he just got blood everywhere. He grabbed the nearest rag, ripped it in half, and tied the man's wrists to slow the bleeding. Then, he dragged Daryl up to his feet and got one of the unconscious man's arms over his shoulders to haul him to the house.

~

Daryl woke up feeling groggy. His body was throbbing painfully and the lights in the room were making a budding headache ten times worse. When he opened his eyes, he looked to his right. Beside the bed he lay in was a wooden chair. Shane sat there watching him. Daryl looked at him and suddenly remembered the night before, what he'd done. He turned his head back to stare at the ceiling.

"If you wanted to die, I'd'a been happy to help you with that," Shane joked with a tone of underlying rage.

No answer.

"You think you get to skip out like that? You owe your life to us, you have to pay your dues." Shane got up and stood over him. "You didn't believe it'd be that easy, did you?"

Still no answer. Daryl's lack of response pissed off the former cop, and he grabbed the silent man by the throat.

"I asked you a question."

Daryl reached one hand up to absently try to alleviate the pressure blocking his airway, but he didn't fight. Shane let go.

"If you opt out, I just might have to find someone else to visit at night. How about Carol? I bet she could use some company."

Daryl looked at him then, some of that old anger in his eyes. "Don't touch her."

"What are you gonna do about it, laid up in bed? You shoulda thought about that before you tried to kill yourself."

Daryl's anger turned to fear. "Don't," He said quietly.

"Guess I don't have to if you still serve that function."

He nodded shakily. Shane checked that Rick knew he had watch, saw the hallway was clear, then came back to straddle the pale man who had to wait.

"You are going to be very quiet, got it?"

Another nod.

~

"You're not going to say a word to anyone. My name isn't even gonna come up, you hear me?" Shane growled. "You know I have to do this. You don't belong here, you're a waste of supplies and you're a risk to the group. You're just like your scumbag brother. But, if I can keep you under control, you can stay. As long as you contribute and give more than you take. It's the only way you get to stay. You wanna stay, right?"

Daryl nodded.

"And you know what's gonna happen if you rat me out like some kind of bitch, right?"

Another nod.

"Good."

~

Rick walked in the next morning, relieving Shane of his duty. Daryl was still awake and had bags under his eyes. Rick sat down in the chair and leaned forward with a weary sigh.

"What happened?"

No answer.

"I have to know what's going on, and right now I am clueless. As far as anyone knows, everything has been normal, there hasn't been a death in a while, and suddenly you..." He looked at Daryl, who was just staring up at nothing. "What's going on?"

No answer.

Rick watched for a minute before he continued. "Jenner told me something back at the CDC." He paused. "He said we all turn, no matter how we die. We're all infected."

That got Daryl's attention. He looked over, brows furrowed.

"That means that if you died, you would have turned and attacked the camp."

Daryl bit his lip and looked away. "M'sorry."

"Why did you do it? What am I missing here, Daryl?"

The hunter didn't say anything else.

~

"Rick," Carol called as she ran over to the leader. They were near the camp, so she led him away a bit.

"What is it?" He asked, concerned.

"Is Daryl okay?"

Rick sighed. "I don't know. He's stable, that's all I can get from the situation."

"I think I know why he did it."

"What?"

"He's been acting weird lately, you must have noticed. Barely eating, hunting all the time, not looking anyone in the eye."

Rick nodded slowly, looking back on all of the changes in the hunter that had come to pass lately.

"I think that someone's... I'm not sure, but I think someone's been hurting him."

"Hurting him? Hurting Daryl?" It made no sense. How could someone overpower the wily hunter? Daryl didn't seem like the type of person who could be... abused.

But, actually, Rick remembered something from the time Daryl had been searching for Sophia and fell down a ravine. While the hunter was getting stitched up, Rick had seen scars spanning the man's body. And on top of that, no matter how intolerable his attitude could get at the time, Daryl had been under Merle's thumb, and that man probably wasn't a particularly healthy influence on Daryl's sense of self. That man could twist the world into an ugly place. Lori had once told Rick that Merle used to tell Daryl, off to the side of the quarry camp, that he was the only one who'd ever care about Daryl, and that no one else would want him.

Shit. Rick was a cop, he should have known, should have seen the signs. But the only person who had noticed was Carol, who'd probably been through a lot of the same things. And Rick hadn't ever done anything about her abuser - it had been pure luck that he died.

"Who?" Rick asked.

"I'm not sure," She responded slowly. "I think it's Shane."

Rick felt like he'd been punched in the gut. "No. He wouldn't do that, he never stood for that."

She looked at him with something between pity and annoyance. "Are you sure?"

Rick thought hard, staring at her, then headed toward the house. He had a lot of questions.

~

When he walked into the room, Shane was walking out. Rick nodded in greeting.

"I'll pick up the next shift."

Shane hesitated, then smiled warmly. "Thanks, brother." He left down the stairs.

Rick watched him go, then closed the door. He sat beside the bed. Daryl was sitting up against the headboard, watching the other's movement without making eye contact.

"I have some questions."

Daryl huffed in annoyance. "Always do."

That was more of a response than he'd given in a long time. Rick took it in stride. "But first, I owe you an apology."

"For what?"

"There's been something going on, and I didn't catch on. I knew that something was off but I didn't do something about it."

Daryl started fiddling with the edge of the gauze on his left wrist.

"Daryl."

The other man didn't respond.

"Look at me."

He didn't.

"I don't need to know everything. I just need to understand the threat, who's in danger. Because if someone - anyone - is in danger, that is not acceptable. I'm not going to lose anyone else."

Daryl ducked his head a little more. If Rick didn't want to lose anyone, he sure as hell wouldn't want to lose his best friend.

Rick dipped his head down, ran a hand over his head, then looked up. "It's Shane."

The man on the bed hunched his shoulders a little like he was trying to hide. Rick was trying to find the right words to get Daryl to say something, anything, proving him wrong, proving him right.

"If what i think's happening, is happening... two people on opposite ends, we can't have that. Both can't be here. It's a mistake waiting to happen. We have to be united and safe."

Daryl nodded minutely and started to painstakingly get up. "'ll be gone in twenty."

He was at the door before Rick realized what he meant. "What? No! Daryl, that's not what I meant."

The hunter reached for the doorknob anyway. "Ain't gotta mince your words, I get it."

"No, you don't have to go, I want you to stay. We need you."

"You don't."

"Please, just come back, listen to me." Rick was begging. He had to hear him out. Daryl gave in and sat back on the bed. "We need you. And we want you to stay, you're family now. Listen, whatever he did, whatever he said, that's not what we want. We don't need someone like that in our group."

Daryl didn't respond. He didn't believe it, it wasn't how the world worked.

"We do need you. You're the only one that can hunt and set traps. You're fast and clever, that saves lives. But what matters most is you're a good man." Rick paused. "I need you to know that without you around, none of us would last very long, and I would lose a good friend. After what he's done, I don't hesitate to decide to kick him out. He's not the man he used to be. I trust you, and I want you by my side, not a man like that. He is poison."

"You mean that?" The hunter asked skeptically.

Rick waited until the recently quiet man met his eyes before he answered. "I do."


End file.
